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Friday, August 11, 2006

life is juz like a bubble

a fren of my mom had juz passed away yesterday and had made me feel scared not beacause of thonk that aunty will haunt me,
but the thought of i leaving everyone or someone had left me.
this made me recall the sth that i had thought,
when will i die? how will die? will i die in regrets?
i dunno.... i had many doubts in my life...
and also ask myself wether i will let myself to have regrets in my life...?
i never had the courage to ask her and tell her...
am i a coward or sth...
or am i juz giving myself an excuse ad i dun 1 2 be in relationship as i am scared of responsibillities...or even i do not like her at the 1st place..
i dunno her as i had little contact wif her...
i dun understand her...
i juz noe that there is a felling that 1 2 link us together but i am affraid that the feeling is wrong...
what if the feeling is rite.... i am so confused....
i felt disgusted when i think about this where i always ask ppl not 2 be affraid but myself is the 1 doing the reverse .... sounds stupid rite?
affraid to make the wrong decision but
its useless to say but not taking any decision...
i muz do sth i dun 1 2 regret anymore
no matter how things may turn out i shall not let this chance to flew away from me...
i should grab it and never let go so widh me luck...

life is so simple but ppl tend to make it so complicated
ppl like me, a simple feeling should be told straight 4wardly but i dun dare...
anyone may die in the next second including me,
therefore i should live to the fullest and give it a shot

1 comment:

cDi said...

This is what I had in mind when my father passed away. But I'm more afraid of people leaving me behind more than I left the world. I'm opposite of you. If I have a choice I would choose to die first, so that I can't go through the same pain and suffering of my loved ones leaving me. You know....my dad once told my mom that between both of them, he would rather die first, because he doesn't want to see himself losing her. I guess...I inherited my father's fears. So, just find yourself. Love yourself. That's what is important =). Good luck in your semester.